My first fourth grade year in late May. The year was almost over and I was excited for summer break. It was either the last day of school or one of the last days of school. I remember being so happy to be moving up to the 5th grade. This was near the end of the day and I remember getting called into Mrs. Evan's office and sitting down after she told me she had something to say. I didn't have a good feeling about what was about to be said.
She explained to me that I was going to repeat the 4th grade because they thought it was best for me. I was shocked and didn't know what to say. It made me mad but of course sad because I felt no reason to be repeated a grade; it made me believe that I had failed in some way. I was sad about my situation and I was angry at the adults the insisted that I needed to repeat a grade. When I talked to my parents about this I remember being mad that I was not told by them but by Mrs. Evans instead. They also didn't have the presence of mind to talk to me about it first before making a decision. I didn't want to leave my classmates that I was with and didn't have to start over again and make new friends. That is what was probably the scariest scenario that I had to face.
The impact of what happened left repercussions for many years. I was unable to trust myself in life and often fell back on the opinions of others. This was because I believed I wasn't smart enough and wouldn't do anything right or get the correct answer when I was working. There was a long period of time that I was resentful of my parents but I eventually learned to move forward. I found a new friend base in my grade who I am certain will become life long friends.
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